Dear Diary,
I believe that at one point or another, everyone will have at least one dream. I have always been a person that dreams vividly and with details. Oh, and when I say dreams I don’t mean the ones that you're asleep for. I’m talking about the goals for the future type of dreams. Those are the ones I get most often. Those are the ones that excite me. I love thinking of my future in terms of the goals I will accomplish more than the years that are ahead of me. There is a sort of anxiety that comes from thinking of your future in terms of numbers or terms of something as concrete as years. Because when I think of years, I immediately think of months, then I move on to days, then I just get all anxious again about the small number of days in each year. You see all that anxiety for nothing. For me, dreams and daydreaming go hand-in-hand. Usually, I will end up daydreaming about my dreams. It will never be me acting out my dream though. It’s always someone else living my dream. I make the decisions and I control it, but it isn’t me that is going through the motions. If I were to go deeper into this, I would probably come out with an answer around the lines of ‘my insecurity in myself doesn’t allow me to project my physical appearance into my hopes and dreams. I don’t know if that's correct. It most likely isn’t, but it's cool to think about. I don’t know if anyone else feels this way, but I have always felt that if I tell someone my dream too early it won’t come true. There is absolutely no logic behind this considering I will eventually tell them anyway. But something about having this dream or goal that I haven’t thought through completely makes me feel vulnerable. For me, I have always felt as though I need to prove that I am committed to this goal ( but I still haven’t figured out if that means that I need to prove it to myself or others). The need to justify my goals is probably why the larger of my dreams aren’t usually shared with people that I'm not extremely close to. Maybe there is some sort of intimacy with sharing your hopes and dreams with someone that I just don’t understand yet. Maybe this comes from that lack of others talking about their dreams. Or maybe this comes from just my insecurities. Maybe if I started sharing my dreams more publicly, others will follow suit and instead of doing ice breakers when you first meet someone, you can do dream sharing. I know I would enjoy that a lot more. But if given the chance, would you openly share your dreams?
love,
your fairy godmother
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